It is that unconscious pain rooted in our relationship with our mother

I always had my opinions about my mother…

I was often ashamed of her and unconsciously avoided her.

For a long time, I refused to face the pain that was tied to the relationship with my mother.

In 2018, I walked away from a successful career in the high-tech industry.
I began a deep journey within myself, to discover who I truly am.

Very soon, my path took me far beyond the conventional—toward the mystical wisdom and rituals of the shamans.
I went through a deep process of healing all the pain inside me that I had long suppressed.
At first, this process was mostly about the pain in the relationship with my father—my great role model.

My mother, on the other hand, I experienced as fearful and often panicked when I faced life’s challenges.

In many sessions with my spiritual coach, I resisted looking at the relationship with my mother.
No matter how hard she tried to bring something into my awareness.
I was struggling with deep fears in my system.

Until one day, during a shamanic plant medicine ceremony, the “emotional floodgates” were opened.
In that ceremony, I was confronted with deep emotional pain rooted in my mother’s family line.
Pain that particularly came from my grandfather—my mother’s father.
A man I had always felt a strong connection with, yet never actually knew.
That ceremony marked the beginning of a long journey of healing the maternal lineage.
It was a process in which immense pain and grief surfaced—
pain I had unconsciously carried for years and was finally allowed to release, step by step.
Through that release, I began to feel, for the first time in my life, the lightness and inner peace I had always longed for.

But I also realized that this inner journey had a higher purpose.
That there was a reason I had to go so deep.
It had everything to do with my soul’s mission in this lifetime.

I discovered that the male leaders who come to work with me are often carrying this same theme: pain in the relationship with their mother, pain in the maternal lineage.
Pain they rarely recognize themselves—but which I can sense and uncover very quickly through my emotional sensitivity.
They often describe their relationship with their mother as “fine,” but when I dig a little deeper, it turns out they too, just like I did, have quite a few feelings about their mother. And that’s not without reason.

This pain often underlies the deep fears we carry in life.
Fears that make us afraid to lose control.
And it’s this pain we begin to uproot and release in our sessions.

For me, the relationship with my mother completely transformed.

I’ve now been able to fully let her into my life and feel a deep love for the mother she has always been—but whom I refused to see.

And so this weekend, I said something out loud—maybe for the first time in my life:
“Because I love you so much.”

🔥 Michel